Wedding Planning is over, you’re down the aisle, finally decompressing and thinking about the whirlwind of emotions that brought you to that day. You reminisce about the events in-between and the friends that took part and the sad truth is, during the planning process, sometimes those relationships become strained. Sometimes there’s a chance you won’t maintain the friendship you once had with some of your bridesmaids. It certainly isn’t how you want to look back at your wedding festivities, gaining a husband but losing a friend, but in other instances maybe it was a long time coming. At the end of the day there are many reasons why friendships might fall off after a wedding but hopefully future Bride-To-Be’s can avoid this, check out our list below!
- You Added Bridesmaids To Meet A Bridal Party Quota
For anyone who is stuck on the vision of having an equal amount of groomsmen and bridesmaids, understand this can often lead to irrational decisions when picking bridal party members. Ladies, just because there are a certain amount of groomsmen doesn’t mean you have to match up just because! You can mix and match, you could double up partners, there are a variations of ways to do it! If you’re choosing people just to meet a quota then chances are you might not have a strong bond with everyone. And at the end of the day whether they’re in your life or not, they’re still in your wedding pictures! Bride Sister @prettyuppity said it the best, when she stated “Advice: Be very strategic and consider exactly who you will not regret having next to you on that day when you look back five years from now”.
- You Had A Falling Out Somewhere During The Planning Process And Never Recovered
This is plain and simple, sometimes weddings bring out the best and worst in us. There are times we may not be ourselves and say things we may not mean and rather than distancing themselves, your bridesmaids may push through with the motions until the big day and distance themselves after. This is common and you’ll often know it’s happening, while it’s happening, but will be filled with so many other emotions you may not do your best to stop it. Brides, if you have a falling out with someone you love and hold dear during the process, be sure to remember the wedding is only one day, and this person has stood by you for years. Do as much as you can to communicate when there’s an issue and try your best to not lose focus of the bigger picture when planning a wedding. What you might see as something minuscule might be important to your friend. Bride Sister @ru_legacy reminded us why it’s important to always look at the bigger picture when stating “I had a friend I was not really talking to but I asked her to be in the wedding anyway and today (25 years later) I can’t even remember why we weren’t speaking. I took the high road and she came with me. Friends 4 life!”. Take the high road ladies!
- Your Bridesmaid Barely Participated And Didn’t Seem Happy Through The Process
During our Coordinated Conversation, this issue resonated with many Brides. The “friends” that they thought would be the most happy for them turned out to be the least excited and the least involved. This can be truly discouraging for the Bride and a real eye opener as well. Bride Sister @leahjaswalks shared her own experience stating “Mine was the very person I least expected it to be. Blew my mind. Caused an unspoken tension between her, myself and her and the other bridesmaids. Unfortunately the whole experience wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be for everyone because of that. My other ladies made the best of it though and I love them to pieces for it”. Another Bride Sister @chellenanigans16 added “Let’s just say the wedding process revealed a lot”. At the end of the day, you can’t predict how a friend will act when the big day comes, but you can see when they’re not happy. Whether speaking to them about the issue solves it or not, sometimes weddings “bring out true colors” as our other Bride Sisters stated.
- You Chose Someone Because Your Fiance Wanted Them To Be In The Bridal Party
Many brides have been faced with this issue, putting a family member in because their fiance wanted them to, only to realize they contributed absolutely nothing to the bridal party and planning process. This could either be someone you do have a relationship with or someone you might barely know, but you just add them to appease your partner. Chances are, no real relationship will be formed during the wedding and although they might not be your “friend” after the wedding, at least they’re family !
- You Rushed To Pick Your Bridesmaids
This is the instance that truly put’s you in a pickle. When you simply rush into picking your bridal party members! Bride Sister @tiny.the.sailor acknowledged she made that mistake when she said “I rushed to pick my party… 🙁 and now I regret who I picked”. Please chose wisely and not on impulse, these are girls who will share this memory with you forever!
- The Bride Didn’t Treat Her Bridesmaids Nicely
As much as you might not want to admit, sometimes Bride’s become complete Bridezillas during the planning process. They treat their friends poorly and simply don’t appreciate the things that have been done for them. As Brides we often don’t point the blame on ourselves because it’s our day but just because it’s you day, it doesn’t give you permission to have outlandish expectations of your friends. Believe it or not, you might be the reason you’re not friends with your bridesmaids.
Whether you intend on it to happen or not, falling out’s happen and sometimes its during the biggest moment of our lives. Maybe it’s true that “true colors show” during times like these but it’s also important to remember there are ways to avoid these issues. Pick bridesmaids that you know you can depend on, not seasonal friends, but those that have truly stuck by you. Remember to check in on their lives, ask them how things are going and don’t lead every conversation with wedding topics! Friendships work both ways and it’s important you don’t lose focus of it!