Okay, so you’ve been asked to be a part of someones bridal party, congratulations! Whether you’re a friend or a family member, consider this an honor! You’re going to be part of one of the biggest days of someone’s life! But pump the breaks for a second, before you start worrying about your dress, hair and make-up, you’ve got to really understand what you’re getting yourself into after saying “yes”. Being a part of a bridal party can really test your friendship with the bride and show you a side you’ve never seen before from someone you probably thought you knew like the back of your hand. One wrong move on your part could mean disaster for the entire wedding day (or in the bride’s eyes at least), but don’t fear, advice is here! Here are five things bridesmaids’ should avoid doing during the wedding planning process:

1. Don’t Make Things About Yourself: Your day will come, but for now, it’s someone else’s. So regardless of whether you like the dress choice, the hairstyle, or the venue, try to keep your opinion to yourself!  No bride likes a pushy bridal party member. It’s important to remember, people have different taste when it comes to different things! If your bride has her heart set on a rustic wedding, it’s going to be a rustic wedding. If she wants a maroon bridesmaid dress, guess what? You’ll be wearing maroon. Unless the bride asks for your opinion during the decision making process, try to back off when it comes to pushing your own personal style for the wedding, it’s the bride’s day. And if you absolutely hate something, please keep it to yourself.  9 out of 10 times, the feeling is probably mutual among the other bridesmaids, but they’re smiling and pushing forward, you should too!

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2. Do Not Call Your Bride a Bridezilla: Planning a wedding is stressful. If your bride is having a moment, let her get it out her system. DO NOT mention that she is being a Bridezilla. Unless you’re planning a wedding yourself, you’ll never know how much stress a bride is under when it comes to planning the BIG day. It’s easy to judge a bride’s reactions to things you would consider small, but to a bride, its a small aspect that effects the bigger picture. Everyone wants their day to be perfect, so allow your bride to vent to you when need be, whether it makes sense or not.

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3. Don’t Go MIA On Your Bride: Communication, communication, communication! DON’T be the bridesmaid that’s always hard to get a hold of! Answer your group messages, respond to texts, be PRESENT! Whether you care about the color of the orchids or not, you said yes to being a part of the journey so that means, show some interest! No one wants a bridesmaid who’s missing in action throughout the planning process but just show’s up for wedding events as if this were a job. It’s tough being a bride and planning a wedding, it’s even tougher when you physically have to reach out to bridesmaids who read all of your messages but don’t respond. Don’t be that person!

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4. Do Not Argue With Fellow Bridesmaids: And if you do, DON’T involve the bride! The last thing a bride wants to do is get in-between a sticky situation among bridal party member’s, especially when it consists of her close friends. If you get into a squabble with another bridesmaid, suck it up! You’ll only have to deal with them for a few months and will probably never have to see them again, so try your best to keep your cool. We all know a group of girls often means a difference of opinions, but there’s definitely ways to diffuse and compromise on situations without involving the bride. That’s the last thing a bride wants to deal with on top of seating charts and vendor payments.

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5. Don’t Miss Important Wedding Events: Unless you live out of state and can only attend certain events, please make an effort to attend all wedding related activities! Nothing screams rogue bridesmaid louder than someone who never finds time to make an event and although a bride may never say it – they’ll always remember who was there and who was not. Try your best to show face, even if its for a little bit, because in the end a little goes a long way.

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When everything is said and done and you’re by the bride’s side at the alter, the argument with the bridesmaids over napkin colors, the hideous, puke green dress you’re wearing, or the countless hours of sleep you missed out on because you were up gluing little ribbons will be the last thing on your mind. Trust me when I say, nothing will feel better than being in that moment, being a part of something so special, and witnessing love in its purest form. So ladies, buckle up and get ready for the crazy ride that is called being a bridesmaid, but for sure, it’s all worth it in the end. Different brides will sometimes mean different expectations, and what one bride let slide another may not, just be prepared, enjoy and get your Tequila flask ready!!

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XOXO, Bindi