Hi Lovely Brides,
I cannot believe it has been 5 months since our wedding! It seems so surreal- like did it even happen?! Luckily there are tons of pictures and videos to remind me of that weekend.
As I’ve mentioned before in my prior journal entries, I am of Guyanese Hindu descent so there are several parts to the wedding and several cultural and religious reasons behind those several parts. Part of the reason I love being Hindu is how rich the culture is. So here is a brief run down of the ceremonies:
The Henna/Mehendi Ceremony
This was on the Thursday before the wedding. In this ceremony, the bride, her close family and friends get henna designs on their hands. As the bride, I get a very detailed design on my hands and feet. It took about 4 hours to complete. The henna artist also hid the groom’s name in my henna for him to find. I honestly enjoyed getting the henna done because it was the first time in days I just sat down and wasn’t running around doing something. Some people choose to make a big elaborate event out of the henna/ mehendi ceremony. I chose to do a low key informal one where I can just relax- the calm before the storm so to speak. There is an old saying that the darker the henna stain, the more the groom loves the bride. The real key to a dark henna stain is to to keep the paste on as long as possible but that’s not as romantic to hear so we’ll stick to the love version 😉 That means I did everything possible to keep the paste on as long as possible. How did I accomplish this? Your girl slept on the couch with hands stretched out to the side so as to not smear the design by accident. It was a whole new level of commitment for me. haha!
While I’m getting my henna done, my groom was having a ceremony at his house called maticoor which is considered the official start of the wedding. It is a ceremony where a prayer is performed to give blessing as we embark on this next step in life. One of the highlights of the ceremony is dye/ haldi/ turmeric is rubbed on the bride and groom. There are several symbolic reasons for rubbing haldi including making us glow as we prepare for one of the most important days of our lives. There is live entertainment in the form of tassa music. Tassa is a very upbeat tune played on drums by musicians. It is a time for the family to dance and have a good time. You would be surprised how many of your aunts, uncles and grannies will all bust a move to this music. Heaven knows my mom is always the first on the dance floor once they start playing tassa lol. #canttakehernowhere
Friday Before the Wedding
This is when I held my maticoor ceremony. They had to rub the dye ever so often and I slept on a makeshift bed so as to not get any dye around the house. That stuff will stain! This is also a prep day for any goody bags that will be given out at the religious ceremony and reception day prep. Full disclosure I was a bit of a bridezilla at this point because I was directing people from my little corner while all I wanted to do was walk about and do it myself. Plus I am that hangry gal in snickers commercials (hehe).
Saturday is the wedding day and boy did we hit the ground running. I started with hair and makeup at 9am- the wedding was at 2pm. My makeup artist was amazing and really gave me that old school Bollywood actress look. I had 2 outfits because it is the one day I can be extra 😀
My first outfit was for the pre-wedding ceremony rituals. I had it designed in collaboration with a store in NJ. The skirt is very detailed and tells the story of a wedding ceremony. I loved how simple and unique and I got to customize it in colors that were meaningful to me, my mom and my mother-in-law. The pink was the color my mom got married in, the yellow was what my mother-in-law wanted me to wear and the little purple detailing on the skirt were because it is my favorite color. The way I blended the colors, I was able to please everyone- so take notes brides!
My second outfit also came from the same store, wasn’t as light but equally pleasing to wear. I think it added 5-10lbs to my weight but my gosh was it beautiful. It was traditional red and sparkly and exactly what I imagined my wedding outfit would look like. They made me feel like royalty in the outfit. The wedding ceremony was longgggg but fun. Being that we are Guyanese, we had a backyard party at the groom’s house afterwards.
Wrapping it Up
Sunday was the reception day. Some people do wedding and reception in one day. I enjoy my sanity and everyone enjoys me not going bridezilla so we chose to break it up over 2 days. Unfortunately for us, it rained on our reception day so our garden shoot got cancelled. Luckily my dad planted tons of tulips in front the house as he does yearly so they saved the day. My bridesmaids and I sat around and ate pizza while we got our hair and makeup done. This was a great opportunity for us to catch up as we are all pretty wide spread in different states. I finally got to put on my Pnina dress (yay!) and I was still so in love with it. I took some of the extra fabric and made a headband for my mommy from it. The groom was definitely surprised when he saw me because we joked that I would go for the princess-y dress. Fact: I thought I would choose a princess-y dress too but once I tried on the dress I chose I knew it was what I wanted. It was very modern and not something I envisioned but I absolutely loved how it fit. So my best advice on dress shopping is be open to all styles and silhouettes. The reception was a blast and really a great way to wrap up an amazing weekend. All the little details that went into making it all come together really paid off at the end. When they say it takes a village to build something, it really does. It took every able bodied man, woman, and child to help bring our wedding to fruition. We could not have done it without all our families and friends. Each time I look at the wedding videos and pictures, it brings back such great memories- it’s almost like I’m reliving it again. As we get ready for the holiday season and as we get the professional pictures back, we think of all the fond memories we have built throughout this year.
I planned the wedding on my own. I did not use a wedding planner because I knew exactly what I wanted plus I saved thousands- yes thousands by doing it myself. My only gripe was I would have liked someone as my ‘day of’ planner but most wedding planners I met did not do that or the price break was not as much. Even though I delegated tasks to family members, when I am involved in the ceremonies I could not ensure everything was going as planned. Luckily my sister came to the rescue several times. SO if any wedding planners are reading this, having a day of coordination only for a reasonable price would be something I am sure many brides would be into.
5 Months Post Mordem
We never did take a proper honeymoon. We decided to go on a one year anniversary trip instead because we were in the middle of some serious adulting. We bought a house and are in the midst of home improvement- ourselves! Dad made sure his little girl knows how to do construction stuff so we are redoing our floors ourselves. The only challenge is finding the time to do it together. We are both in school part time, work full time and learning how to be home owners.
Marriage is fun but it is also challenging. I’m not gonna lie we will fight but at the end of the day we learn from it. We laugh, fight, cry, love and all the other emotions together. We are no longer 2 individual people but a unit and we face life that way. I know many couples have a hard time during their first year of marriage and I’m here to say that’s ok. Everyone has a different path and you will find yours. So don’t be discouraged if there are some bumps in the road or things are not as smooth as it was for other married friends you know. The key to any marriage just as it was for any relationship is to communicate, talk to each other and work it out. Also don’t forget date nights!
This will be my last blog post as a Coordinated Bride and I want to say what a pleasure it has been sharing my journey with you. I hope I was able to give you a real view of all the ups and downs of weddings. If you have questions feel free to reach out to me. I am always happy to help brides in need.
Best of Luck, Mohanie