Always the Bridesmaids and Never the Bride

All The Real Bridesmaids, Please Stand Up

The Coordinated Bride recently posted a Coordinated Conversation that grabbed my attention, it said, “Want to see who your real friends are? Get Engaged, Get Pregnant or Buy a House”. The ongoing discussion was entertaining because I heard so many horror stories of losing friends due to weddings. Also the discussion took me down memory lane, to a time I was Katherine Heigl from the movie “27 Dresses.” My closet was full of bridesmaid dresses, ok maybe three, but I was definitely always attending life events. I was excited for my friends but I was “Always the Bridesmaid and Never the Bride.” Listen, I never thought I would be a “Bride.” I settled in my thoughts of never finding love and was over my sucky dating options. “Yes, I will be in your wedding.” The consistent quote from my days of being single. All the marital bliss, sighs yeah yeah yeah, was my feelings but as a bridesmaid I understood the obligations expected as a friend and a member of the bridal party. Obligations to get outside of myself, set my doubts of love/dating to the side, and be there for my friend on her special day.

While I was going through my “Eat, Pray, Love” phase (chuckles), many of my girlfriends and sorority sisters were getting married. Although excited for my friends and their happiness, I questioned God, “When will I find love or that special someone” or “Maybe I will always be single. “However, all of my thoughts were pushed to the side because genuinely I was happy for my girlfriends. I enjoyed our moments of singleness together, definitely witnessed bad dating decisions, and all to see them prosper with someone who loves them unconditionally. I was so happy to see them in a place we always doubted would happen.  Their happiness gave me hope and I was excited to partake in their moment of bliss. I made sure I was there to celebrate their last time being single, button their wedding dresses, and lend my shoulders for them to cry on when they were unsure or uncertain of certain decisions.

All of that to say, as friends, during the wedding planning season we have to learn to put our selfishness aside to support and love our girlfriends, our brides. Not throw your whole life away, but be there for moral support. Why? Because this is the time they really need your love. Their whole lives are about to change and they still need the love of those that have shared years of special moments with them every step of the way. Don’t lose a long-term friendship during a time so special. Learn to contain your feelings and emotions to CHAMPION your friend. Matter of fact, in every stage in life, encourage and love your good girlfriends. My best friend and I don’t talk everyday but when we do talk it’s like we haven’t missed a beat! We encourage, we praise, we love, and it’s an ongoing bond, a sisterhood that can’t be broken.

So ladies. When a bride asks you to be a part of their wedding. That’s a huge accomplishment. Don’t take it for granted. Yes, it’s a job within itself but the bride wholeheartedly cherished you enough to be a part of her special day. Love on the bride through the thick and the thin. Most importantly, DON’T COMPLAIN. This is her wedding and she can plan it anyway she chooses. Just be there for support and if you don’t agree, keep it to yourself. Don’t take on the challenge if your heart is not into to making her day, that moment, special in every way. If you can’t love and support the bride or you have your own life goals at the moment, then don’t say “Yes” to the Bridesmaid Dress. Step aside, be honest, be real, save your friendship, and be a guest at the wedding. If desired, your time is coming. You will understand when you step out of that role of “Always Being the Bridesmaid, and Never the Bride.”  Will all the real bridesmaids, Please Stand Up!

Until Next Time,

XOXO Naimah